Ladies and gentlemen, witness the face of the leading perpetrator of the secular attack on this most joyous of holidays:
Andy "Moon River" Williams is many things. He is the owner and operator of the Andy Williams Moon River Theater in Branson, Missouri. He is the favorite singer of Nelson Muntz, who witnessed a concert where Williams sang Moon River as the second encore. And he is the voice behind a Christmas album that is a perennial joy, on which he sings my favorite Christmas song that I look forward to every year.
It's a joyful combination of two shorter songs, "Happy Holidays" by Irving Berlin and "The Holiday Season" by Kay Thompson. And in the song, he does not wish us merry Christmas -- but rather, he wishes us the allegedly secular Happy Holidays. About thirty times.
This song might not make Bill O'Reilly happy, but Nelson Muntz is over the moon. The complete lyrics are:
Happy holiday
(happy holiday)
Happy holiday
(happy holiday)
While the merry bells keep ringing
Happy holiday to you
(happy holiday)
(happy holiday)
It's the holiday season
And Santa Claus is coming 'round
The Christmas snow is white on the ground
When old Santa gets into town
He'll be coming up the chimney down
(he'll be coming up the chimney down)
It's the holidays season
And Santa Claus has got a toy
For every good girl and good little boy
Santa's a great big bundle of joy
When he's coming up the chimney down
(when he's coming up the chimney down)
He'll have a big fat pack, upon his back
And lots of goodies for you and for me
So leave a peppermint stick
For Old Saint Nick, hang it on a Christmas tree
It's the holiday season
(the holiday season)
So hoopdidoo and dickoreedock
And don't forget, to hang up your sock
Cause just exactly at twelve o'clock
He'll be coming up the chimney down
(he'll be coming up the chimney down)
He'll have a big fat pack, upon his back
(yeah!)
And lots of goodies for you and for me
So leave a peppermint stick
For Old Saint Nick, hang it on a Christmas tree
It's the holiday season
(the holiday season)
So hoopdidoo and dickoreedock
And don't forget, to hang up your sock
'Cause just exactly at twelve o'clock
He'll be coming up the chimney, coming up the chimney, coming up the chimney down
(Happy holiday)
Happy holiday
(Happy holiday)
Happy holiday
While the merry bells keep ringing
Happy holiday to you!
